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7 Surefire Signs Youre Putting Way Too Much Effort Into Your Relationship


1. Youre always texting first.

Theres nothing wrong with being the guy or girl that texts first. In fact, it shows initiative. It shows interest. It shows that youre in it, which in todays world of non-committal flings, Theres nothing wrong with being the one thats shooting the Goodmorning sunshine! or the Hey, hows your day, babe? texts, but if youre the one reaching out (or else you dont talk for like 15 hours) thats a big red flag.

If theyre into you, theyll be more than willing to text you, too.

2. Theres no plans unless you make them.

Yep, this is just a piggy-back from the ol texting troubles. If youre the one who constantly has to reach out to your bae, from dates to movie nights to plain old seeing each other before the nights over, then YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH.

Listen, lifes too short to be with someone who isnt PUMPED to see you, who isnt EXCITED to have you in his/her life, or who isnt EAGER to spend time with you.

If your dog is more excited about you than your BF/GF…THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM.

3. Your form of communication with your S.O. consists of yeah, okay, you too, and fine.

Or any other one-word, stupid, surface-level line. Heres the thing, if you are with someone whos only communication is either a) via text or b) short phrases that actually tell you how he/she is feeling or whats actually going on, then you are in a very one-sided, blah relationship.

Its tough for people to open up, especially at the beginning of a relationship, but if youre constantly fighting to try to talk to your S.O. or fighting just to get to know them, then it might be time to set yourself free.

4. Youre constantly trying to schedule time into your busy life to see them.

Life isnt really that hard; we just make it harder than it needs to be sometimes. The same goes for love. You shouldnt have to spend hours agonizing about your busy work week and how youre going to fit in BF/GF time. When youre in a relationship thats balanced, mutual, and real, seeing each other will come naturally and with compromise.

If you find youre the one whos doing all the work to see someone that doesnt have time or is just too busy then GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. I REPEAT. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN.

5. Any holiday or gift-giving event is a well-thought-out, detailed, heartfelt process.

You spend hours trying to find the perfect shoes. You search multiple department stories to find the favorite cologne. You sift through every clothing rack to get the shirt that he/she wanted. You do so much to make the perfect gift, the perfect night, the perfect holiday/birthday/etc.

And when it comes time for your special day, something simple, bland, generic, or bought at the last minute. Uggggghh.

6. You keep trying to find ways to get closer with them.

You feel like your relationship is stuck. You know the two of you care about each other, but things just dont feel right. So you keep trying to change yourself, to fix your quirks, to smooth out the edges of your relationship so it shines.

But it doesnt get betterand thats because YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING WHILE YOUR S.O. JUST CHILLS.

Stop. Just stop.

7. You feel sort of desperate.

You keep trying to see your bae. You keep trying to make plans. You keep texting them. You keep trying to make them happy. In the end, youre starting to feel a little like a crazy stalker weirdo.


Know your worth and know that if someone doesnt put effort, love, affection, and care towards you, they don’t deserve your time or attention. You should be with someone who cant imagine the world without you in it. Anything less than that, well thats just a waste of time.

Originally found athttp://thoughtcatalog.com/